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Validated by SCIENCE!!!

January 20, 2008

https://i0.wp.com/www.chrisdellavedova.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/scientist.gifBreaking news: female bisexuality is not just a phase (pdf of study). A ten-year longitudinal study of 79 women found that while bisexuality may be either a third sexuality or evidence of female sexual fluidity (hee hee!), it most certainly is not a transitional stage. Translation: while over time many women change sexual identities, those who initially identify as bisexual often stay there, and more women transition to bisexuality than away from it. What this means is that the old stereotype of “Lesbian Until Graduation” (or more generally, “hasbian“), is a myth. No way.

As a closeted bisexual who masquerades as a lesbian, I say: finally! Scientific validation! Maybe now we can start working on those awful stereotypes of bisexuals as greedy lying sluts. I’ve been in a relationship for over eight years, and tell people that I’m gay rather than bi for exactly this reason . Once people hear I’m bi, I either get “bisexuals are promiscuous and tend to behave like little attention whores who need to be the center of everyones sexual attention,” or “since you like cock, do you want to fuck me? Your wife can watch.”

https://i1.wp.com/www.biresource.org/wp-content/themes/neo-sapien-05/images/BRC3dLogo.gifBisexuality is maligned by both the gay and the straight camps. They are described as being fence-sitters, too scared to come right out and admit to being gay. Bisexual men especially are often suspected of being semi-closeted homos. (It is true that many people identify themselves as bisexual when they are first coming out, often as a way of testing the reactions of loved ones or dealing with internalized homophobia -bisexuals are still “half-normal” after all – but this is a different phenomenon entirely.) Bisexuals who end up in long term relationships with someone of the other sex are often attacked by gay folks for their ability to enjoy heterosexual privilege, while being dismissed by straight folks as having gone through a bisexual phase and thankfully emerged “normal.” Bisexuals are called greedy and sex-crazed, as if their love of sex is so great they just can’t help hopping into bed with whoever offers. They are suspected of being incapable of holding down long term relationships, accused of being unable to resist the draw of whichever genitalia their partner doesn’t have.

I think that with the acceptance of homosexuality on the rise, bisexual and transexual intolerance are really the last major frontiers for hate. Bisexual and transexual/transgendered people are still seen as legitimate targets by both straight and bent. I know better than to expect one study to change anything, but hopefully it will open the door to more and more.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Dr. Jim permalink
    January 20, 2008 2:33 pm

    Congratulations on the scientific proof of your existence!
    This is very good news, because this will be one less instance of my feeling self-conscious when talking to what just might be an invisible friend…

    Cheers,
    Jim

  2. January 21, 2008 2:48 pm

    I’ve been married to a man for 9 years. I also deny my bisexuality routinely for all the aforementioned reasons. I love my husband and have no inclination to stray. I don’t feel like making a political point by pronouncing my bisexuality at the cost of making people think I’m not committed to monogamy. (at one time in my life I probably would have been, but I’m older now and I just want my privacy)

    I actually have never felt comfortable labeling myself at all when it comes to sexuality which some of the women in the study seemed to lean towards. I see sexuality as simply being fluid.

    In any case it is a piece of me I don’t discuss in general because as you say neither straight nor gay get it.

  3. January 21, 2008 5:01 pm

    Let me just say, as a dyke who’s had three lovers who identified as bi, all three of whom went “straight” after breaking up with me (though one came “back out”), and has suffered through various crap with them all — still, there’s no drawing conclusions or making generalizations based on individual relationships. If you love and trust women, that’s enough for me. The justifications by exes for why they left you are always suspect, you know?

    However, I do have issue with women (any woman) who had a double standard in her expectations from women and from men. We dumb it down emotionally for the guys, generally on an unconscious level, and I plain hate it. This gets nailed to the door of bisexuals, but the fact is, non-bi lesbians do it just as frequently, and ditto straight women. The general belief seems to be that if you try to have standards for men that equal the standards you have for women, you’re gonna be without men in your life.

    Sheesh, I really hope that’s not true. And I honor the women who are out there in the trenches (beds) trying to follow their best thinking as well as their hearts. Anyhow, great post — great list of the crap that gets tossed around. Thanks.

  4. January 30, 2008 11:30 am

    That is fantastic. (to bad society needs “scientific proof” to be less prejudiced) Now if only the same individuals could come out with a study to assist those few straight men, with killer fashion instinct, who are nonetheless afraid to chat up the ladies. That would be a breakthrough……

  5. January 30, 2008 11:32 am

    Alas, Matt. Science is not ready for you. In time, my friend. In time.

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