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Funniest Child in the Universe

January 10, 2008

I half-hope that Mimi Smartypants and her adorable family are completely made up, because if my eventual child is not as cute and funny as her Nora is, I will be somewhat disappointed.

Last night while Nora played garde manger to my chef de cuisine and while she chopped up a red pepper (yeah, I let her use a sharp knife—we are MONTESSORI DAREDEVILS) we had the following touchy conversation out of the clear blue sky:

Nora: Dead people live on in us, right?

Me [taken by surprise]: Oh, you mean because we remember them? Right.

Nora: But dead people don’t really live, like inside you. Like a tapeworm. That would be crazy!

Me: It sure would!

Nora: Some people believe in God, though.

Me: Yup.

Nora: And they say that the dead people go live with God.

Me: Uh-huh. That’s what some people say.

Nora: Is that true?

Me: Well, no one knows for sure. People believe different things.

Nora: Do you think it’s true?

Me [mental sigh]: No, I don’t. It doesn’t make sense to me, so I don’t believe it. I think dead is dead, and then the alive people do the remembering.


Me: But you can learn about both—the God idea and the no-God idea—and then someday you can make up your own mind. [to myself: Yeah sure, after I just SHIT ALL OVER THE GOD IDEA GOOD ONE SMARTYPANTS]

Nora: I don’t think God is real. But I will think about it more when I am five.

Me: Good plan.

Mimi Smartypants is the only personal-type (or, god forbid, “Mommy-blog”) I read, and it consistently makes me laugh my pants off. Pants. Off.

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